Shouldn't a writer write about what she knows?
I'm like, the least knowledgeable person when it comes to relationships but well, I listen, I read and I watch tv/movies. Those should count for something right?
Anyway, I don't have any pearls of wisdom to share. Just a random spiel... because from what I'm told, some guys still don't seem to get it. Perhaps even some guys I know, don't get it.
Face it, at the end of the day, what men and women consider a relationship that works, is different.
I don't pretend to understand men (I frankly don't) but I'm guessing that to some, being officially in a relationship is like, the end of the journey. They don't put in constant effort to maintain the relationship, thinking and being overly confident that the girlfriend won't ever leave them.
Seriously, feelings fade over time. Some get stronger but (I d'no), getting stronger usually applies to budding relationships. Stable relationships don't just happen, I believe both parties put in constant effort to maintain that spark. I think girls treasure the emotional connection in a relationship. That only comes with communication. Some guys care, love, they're serious BUT they don't show it. If you don't show it, how would the girl know? And if she doesn't feel it, she thinks you don't care. If you don't care, why should she stick with you? Some guys really think too lowly of their girlfriend. You think she doesn't have any other suitors apart from you? If there was someone else waiting in the wings, and took the opportunity to show concern and listen, then ... it's only a matter of time before you're eliminated.
Guys might think it's pointless but we just want someone to listen to our mindless chatter. Sure, we can be seriously uninteresting but we're telling you about our day. Fine if you don't want to talk about yours but at least, listen or look like you're listening. It's really a dampener to have your boyfriend not laugh at something you felt was hilarious. In general, having told a joke, laughed, and then having your audience say "HUH? didn't catch that" kills the mood entirely. Having to explain a joke is also a mood killer. Totally not funny anymore.
Sometimes we just want to hear your voice or see you but some guys can be entirely clueless. "I'm not free now." O..k forget it then. *rolls eyes* /proceeds to complain to girlfriends, sulk/
How can someone tell you they'll be there for you and then go MIA when you really need him! Like, *spam symbols* I'll look for someone who can really be there for me then!
When girls complain to their girlfriends, the girlfriends don't hesitate to say 'leave him'. Ok, I'm a bad person, putting ideas in people's heads. But really, from my perspective, if you don't see a future together, forget it. You know it won't work out so break it off now instead of later. It would hurt (you? him? both?) but it's gonna hurt eventually and more if you've invested more in the relationship. Of course, I don't advise people to break up every time there's a quarrel or something. It doens't work like that. It might be like playing devil's advocate, echoing the sentiments of the girl.
What irks me is that some guys want a girlfriend but aren't willing to fulfill their end of the bargain. Seriously, you're capable of holding hands, hugging etc but after that? MIA! WTFH!
I detest guys like that. You don't need a girlfriend, you just need a Mary, Susie, Amy for when you're going out. Don't make any poor girl suffer that injustice of being your girlfriend. Ick!
At our age, we're not looking for some short-term fling but something that has long term potential. I mean, if you're in your twenties, and still freaking frivolous then I have nothing to say. Today we were talking about players because I declared her to be playing bejeweled! In jest, of course. You know, the old 'Monday go out with Susie, Tuesday with Amy, Wednesday with Mary, Thursday with... ' comment that we applied to the guys who can't seem to make up their minds. And wondering how the girls didn't know they were being played! ('...maybe Monday go TM, Tuesday go Causeway, Wednesday got PS, Thursday go JP...that's why so safe') Which says something about the girls? /shrugs/ Maybe they know but they enjoy it :) D'no.
So, as I was saying, if you're still shopping around, that's really too bad. And talking about shopping, we usually want to see if we can find something better but at the end of a tiring search, you'll realise that the best one was probably found waaaay at the beginning or the second or third. Well, that's my opinion again. So, applying this to relationships... you know what my point is. You might just end up with nothing. But hey, that's a good thing! You're probably not a committed buyer anyway :D
Someone once said you should try things for the experience. Even things that aren't good for you? I d'no. I can't say I feel inspired by that comment.
Once you've crossed certain lines, there's no turning back. If you can live with regret, good for you.
Back to the communication issue, I'm one of those girls who rank communication HIGH up on my list of priorities. I feel it's only right. If you find that you have nothing to talk about, hello-o? why are you even together! I know, there's this thing called comfortable silence right? But you can't possibly use that as an excuse to not communicate. And communicating doesn't mean "yes", "no", "ok", "haha". You have to listen and respond. OK, I admit some things are freaking hard to respond to...
Soooo for me, having similar interests is very important. If not, what are you going to talk about? I can tell you my life story but I'm not sure you'll want to listen. Being different isn't a deal breaker but you have to admit there can be jarring breaks in conversation because you're like "??? wtf?" *polite smile* -boyfriend drones on- *stifles yawn* "oh..cool! :D"
Yea riiight. Not the best situation.
Even with my friends (I assure you you're still my friend even if I don't talk to you every time you're online! SINCERELY) I feel a need to msn daily. I know right, do we have that many things to talk about?
But that's just how I filter the good friends from the friends. Really. That's what friends do! They keep you company, they talk and listen, they give advice, they don't doze off/offline/no-reply on you (spam symbols here!). There are also those I don't always talk to but when I talk to them, it's never boring. :D
So now you know, I'm utterly offended when people offline/no-reply on me. It's just so freaking impolite. Why can't they be decent, well-mannered folks and say they're leaving to commit atrocities?
Oh.. I sort of went off-topic.
Yea, like I was saying, if it's a fledgling relationship then of course, feelings and all are still shaky. One little nudge is all it takes (haha, catalyst...) to sow doubt. It's really easy to lose your liking for someone. My opinion again. When you're upset, you dredge up the negative memories; you're boyfriend's flaws get magnified and you start to wonder 'why isn't he like so-and-so? why aren't we happy together!' If you don't talk about it (is it true guys don't like to hear 'we need to talk'?) you let the problems simmer. They don't go away, they just exist as this undercurrent of unease. If your feelings are shaken, you stop being tolerant of his flaws. It can come to a point where the thought of him fills you with contempt. (*inserts the filled-with-contempt expression*)
Breaking up...
How do you do it?
How do you avoid a dramatic scene?
Can you still be friends after that?
"those who say they're still friends are lying..." - True?
I guess, it's possible to remain friends if
1) you're thickskinned lor. People dump you, you can still be friends with them and don't think of killing them secretly.
2) it was an amicable breakup. Hmm does this mean A said let's break up and B nodded enthusiastically and said high5! i was just going to say that! :D and there was no unhappiness over who broke up with who first.
3) the new girlfriend didn't pull you aside to have a meaningful conversation. Main idea: the old has to GO.
HAHA erm, sneakily meeting up with your ex when you know your gf/bf MINDS, as 'just friends!', is that like cheating?
What do you think? If they find out, confirmed DL max. I know I'm the sort who just hears her name -"X said that...", "my ex and I used to.." - DL. *spam symbols*
- - - - -
*spam symbols* just means #$&^(&*^(&%^%#&$#^$#@^(*(*&*^
You know what that means right? Haha.
We said that the next time someone texts - e.g. "i'll be late. sorry"
Just reply with "&)(*&)*!^@#*^!(&% Don't. Come."
We are very unfriendly. Innocent text such as "I see you! ;)"
Proposed reply "stab your eyes out"
What prompted this:
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