A good time to think is when you can't get to sleep. But then the unhappy loserish aspects of your life will be magnified in your face (especially after confronting selfhelp/crap books) which makes you go into a sorta depressed i-am-a-loser-shoot-me mood. Highlight is, it actually puts things into perspective and makes you revisit the bottled up thoughts and emotions accumulated (how do you spell the bloody thing!) over the past days/weeks/months/years (circle the necessary).
It is such a case of pathetic-ness when bus rides turn stressful. I was almost late this morning due to unforeseen (and predicted) circumstances. *Note my crazed ranting regarding zilch parental kindness previously* It was all joyjoyallingoodtime before I realised 55 was simply NOT coming. (Picture imaginary clock going ticktick and fastforward 20 minutes) Normally when buses are late, it must be because they are full but NO! it was not (Is that necessarily a bad thing? Oh screw it). I'm like thinking "Like finally! Can we go now?" Sad to say, I was destined not to be punctual cuz the friggin' stupid bus crawled along. It blatantly crawled along! (What a fucked up piece of junk it is!) What's worse! Birdbrains kept trying to board the bus even though it was full and close to exploding (They must have OD-ed on Harry Potter and thought it was like the Knight's Bus-- all expandable and wtf) The next time you see someone standing up and shouting "Nabeh can drive faster not!" (no it won't be me *rolls eyes*), it is perfectly justified.
Anyway due to the fact that I am scarcely ever present for cca (horrible toxic 3 letters!) I could not really play. Sorta smoke'd my way through the whole prac but pleasantly enough, time whizzed by merrily so I'm not complaining. Speaking of smoking, wasn't that what happened for history and econs? Precisely the 2 subjects which I have yet to receive. What larks! Non. As usual, people were like wondering when the 2 of us would grow up. I concede, I am infuriatingly childish, beyond help. Happy now?
Isn't it true that the good ones are usually taken or sadly gay? Set notation anyone? Attached is not a full complete subset of being deemed 'good ones'! Do not be mistaken lest you think anomalies (abnomalities? Oh crap!) are miraculously in demand. *sighs in resignation* Ran this theory past weitin (part of it) and she was like "_ _ is lousy! Not nice and _" (fill in the blanks yourself) I've a mind to have a session of 'what would you rather'. As usual, no link; as eling would say.
SN Fiesta was like... no comments really. Maybe if you were really involved then you'll get caught up in the excitement and FUN! However for the average visitor, it was pretty much hohum. I'm both amused and afraid of the SN doll. I sat it on my bed but I move it at night in case it manages to fall on my face and scare the hell outta me.
In the meantime, I very much pity jiang. She was pretty annoyed with us that day at Cartel, so much so she fell off her couch. Those potentially insulting yet insightful comments about her friends (weird eyes, arched 'trapezium-like' eyebrows, fat guy...) apparently did not go down too well. I guess we should have been more sensitive and tactful although I (despite being so excellent at descriptive essays I must say!) can't really find enough words to describe above mentioned eyes and eyebrows. We'll just leave that to the pros, till next time.
It is indeed a fiasco. *giggling fits abound* Min was most indignant.
I have mentioned before that 'happy' is a subjective word. Another is 'close'. When people talk about how sickeningly close they are all the time, do you not wonder "Yea right. AS IF." Unless you can be truthful about your feelings and despite being brutally blunt, still manage to maintain your stellar relations, I suggest you put the word 'close' in temporary/permanent cold storage and not toss it around (like salad). Many times, I have to swallow my indignation and acidic comments simply because they wouldn't go down well with others (who are all shirty and fucking i'm-right-you're-wrong) Despite others' prior misgivings about me, I am really easy to talk to; even when people are teasing or criticising me, I will still laugh about it (hate you for a while) and get over it. BUT there are others, whom I am supposedly close to, who cannot handle it so well. I cannot be direct with them because then, I will be burning my bridges. Remember when I said friends are tools to harm those with none? I can't have that happening to me can I! Therefore at the risk of being plastic and hypocritical, it is better to go along and agree with all that is said. (Even though I think there's sawdust in place of brains sometimes and it's all fucked up rubbish) When someone finally blurts something out, it's either everyone agrees (like they've been thinking about it for a long time now) or anti-campaigns! How tough is it to be a sane person!!!
OH NO OH NO! Due to the posting of previous tactless comment/thought, I am sure to invite gossip and backstabbing. Sigh such is the fate of the truthful! When backstabbers and hypocrites rule, it's an unfair world. TOUGH.
Guys in auntie clothing should be BANNED! *Out disturbing images*
Such a ladies' man. Tsktsk *disapproving look*
It's a bit too late to make resolutions BUT I will say this:
1) I am gonna be more *um* approachable and talk more!!!
2) I will try not to wallpaper myself into surroundings during discussions (as if! the thought is hilarious to me joyjoy!)
3) I will learn to stare at instead of staring away; I am NOT afraid of those people, just find them intolerable. I'm NOT being defensive. *gets into huffy mood*
4) I will discover a method to make myself look busy to avoid making eye contact with above mentioned intolerable people (oh no! that's defeating the previous mentioned purpose *upset*)
5) I will analyse what people do with their hands during not-doing-anything moments.
6) I will stop trying to appear perfect and just say what comes to mind. It is time I stop treating different people as alien species whom I must impress SO yupyup follow advice! Besides, what have I got to lose? I'm already considered 'weird' and a total idiot therefore what could get worse?
I've been at this for a total of 2 hours. A full-fledged essay.
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