Change

I don't know when it started but suddenly there's a wall between us. I used to think nothing of the random conversations but now I feel something stopping me. It just doesn't feel right anymore. From being able to talk about anything to having to reduce the jarring silence with spacefillers... It's no longer meaningful. I feel like I've lost a good friend, a confidante but I don't know... Maybe you were just there at the right time, when I needed someone to talk to.
Since it means so much to me, I shouldn't just leave it at that but the thought of more long pauses, some of which won't even be resolved, puts me off. Seriously, why bother? We clearly have nothing to say to each other despite being good friends. How that can be possible, I'm not sure. I guess there is such a thing as an expiry date when it comes to friendship. How else do you explain the awkwardness? How else do you explain why I feel like
I'm disturbing you when you're Busy? And at times I feel like I'm talking to a wall; you don't reply and when you do, you don't quite understand. I think we've lost that chemistry.
I didn't plan on sharing my feelings but I was thinking about it for a long time. In other words, it was keeping me awake. I do treasure all the people in my life despite sounding like a psycho bitch at times. Losing those close to me scares me; I hate being lonely.
I don't quite understand why we can be friends, good friends, yet have nothing to say to each other. I feel like I'm living a lie and sometimes I do think I'm being fed lies. Not everyone handles hearttoheart talks well.