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In this immensely crucial one week period, my body has chosen to fail me. Even in the most horrible and life-threatening of days, it was perfectly fine and gave me tons of heartache and lightheadedness as a result. Just after I prayed incredibly hard, hardest I have ever done in a long time, believed in myself and 99% convinced myself that I could work hard, I fell ill. With a flu and fever, no less. However, that was no obstacle to my achieving great things and I firmly decided that after toying with my newest plaything for a couple of hours, I am going to sit down and complete my long overdued history essay. Alas! The road to achieving greatness is never smooth especially for someone like me. After sorting through the mountain of what-nots on my chair and finding NO history notes, I proceeded to the shelves with the minutest of panic. After springcleaning out my shelves and finding NO history notes, panic rose. Flipping through the millions of files and finding NO DAMN FREAKING history notes still, I almost fainted. Almost. Fainting was not the most practical thing to do especially since I was locked in my room. The thought that I might have misplaced my precious history notes or the worst idea that there was evil afoul and some miscreant had made off with my notes was too much. I cried. Alright, teared. Crying is a bit too much, don't you think? Half an hour of self-pity that perhaps, there was that minutest of the tiniest possibility that I had been such an insufferable bitch going around laughing at people that people had stolen my notes. Running through the list of possibilities in my mind, there did seem like an awfully large number of suspects with jian huo topping the list. It did not help that most of the suspects were carbon copies of each other- leons with little or no distinguishing feature to tell them apart. Well, that had to suffice. After becoming anti-everything and slumping defeatedly into my chair, I found my fucking notes! What joy! What amazement! What the fucking hell happened here? I do not remember seeing it there in the first place and I am not blind. Last time I checked, I could see perfectly. There was be some evil at work here. Alas! Evil plotted against me. What sorrow. What despair. What ever.

History sucks. I wanna drop it! How can I put in my best when I don't even know what my best is. Unlike some people, I don't get good grades and I seriously doubt my ability to not get retained. Sigh. Life is unfair ain't? But nobody ever said it was fair... It is my own doing that landed me in this state today. Why? Why be so insistent in the first place? Nobody held a knife to your throat and said TAKE HISTORY. GIVE UP ON CHEM. GO VJ. DO NOT GO POLY.

Sigh. I have plenty of regrets you see. Such a regretful person.

I was just thinking of something. It's pretty apt but a little too obvious IF YOU GET WHAT I'M SAYING. It even involves 2 people! Ooh and it describes them a little too perfectly. I LOVE IT because I came up with it!

There's alot of stuff I did not give up. I seriously need to fight all these tempations for they are not good for me. Excesses are never beneficial to the body nor the mentality. In order to regain my sanity, I have to stop indulging. Wish me luck.

I AM FREAKING OUT. Circumstances are forcing me to the brink of insanity. There are times when I think I should die now but I'm a wimp and that keeps me alive. Furthermore, to spite you with my aliveness is enough to keep me from the pointy stuff. Joie de vivre!